always beginning the world

Well, I just got back from delivering a few things to the YVCC campus: the two Writing Center thumbdrives that I’d accidentally come home with in my pants pocket last week… and my resignation letter. I dropped the thumbdrives and copy of the letter off in Dodie’s office (thanks to Kelley Chase who let me in). When I got to HR and Phyllis Strain came down the hall and saw me with an envelope in my hand, she said something like, “Ohh, is that what I think it is?” “It’s a resignation letter,” I confirmed. Obviously, the word’s gotten around that I’m leaving and why, and so I keep encountering folks at YVCC who are ready with well-wishes and congratulations. Phyllis was so warm in her expression of sadness that I was leaving, in her explanation of benefits*, and in her understanding of my nervousness about the whole enterprise of leaving a good job, living apart from a partner and a home, and going back to graduate school at age 45 that I was little taken aback.

And she is just one example. I could write a paragraph each on several other people who have also been very congratulatory and full of well-wishes: Dodie, of course, my boss and friend, and many others. And these good energies do help me a lot. I may even need them where others would merely appreciate them, since I don’t usually go off into new adventures in life with much confidence. So thank you to everyone at YVCC. I’m very thankful for my years there. Very thankful. Good place, good people, lots of good work going on to help students learn.

And… I was just realizing today too that I feel similar to the way I felt back in 1995 when I left a good-paying job at Pacific Volt / Digital Graphics ADvantage in Orange County, CA to attend Fuller Seminary full time (working toward an M.Div. which I got in 1998): nervous but happy that I was leaving old friends and a familiar home both of which I’ll see again soon. That’s how my relationship with the folks at DGA turned out, so I’m sure — in more ways than one — that that’s who my relationship with folks at YVCC will turn out. I’ll visit a lot and keep in touch with lots of folks and check in on the Writing Center physically (during my quarter breaks) and virtually (via the YVCC Writing Consultants blog).

I just wish OSU’s quarter breaks weren’t parallel to YVCC’s. Since they are, I won’t be able to conduct surprise visits to the Writing Center! Oh well…

* My network access will probably expire this coming Monday, my health insurance will extend through midnight Sept 30th, I get 100% of the value of my vacation time, my sick leave will be held for three years in case I’m re-hired at a Washington state school again, there’ll be one more check via direct-deposit on Sept 25th, and the final check around October 10th (which will be snail-mailed).

P.S. It all reminds me of one of my favorite songs: “Beginning the World” by Innocence Mission

I was home by the winter.
I was home from the school town, undecided.
And questions came, like,
What did you say you’re doing now?
Well, I… had hopes for my music.
And I imagined their faces said,
Well, you can’t do that, you silly thing.
God, he gave me a brave heart.
But God, he gave me a chicken head.
And I felt I’d failed.

I am always beginning the world,
beginning the world.

Aren’t you bursting with butterflies
on the fourth of September?
Like you’ll have to get on the bus
in your tartan dress, with your lunch box.
Though your body is twenty-nine [or forty-five].
Though your mind is an old thing.
I mean, don’t you ever sigh,

I am always beginning the world,
beginning the world
I am always beginning the world,
beginning the world.

Always the same underdog stance
under the same happy-sad sky,
eternally crying, Am I still shy?

I am always beginning the world,
beginning the world.
I am always beginning the world,
beginning the world, beginning the world

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